Imbalanced.

Balance. Where do you find it?

Personal. Professional. Recreational.

Everything seems to give way to professional. Work dictates what kind of recreation to participate in. Is there time to dedicate to team activities, do you want to commit to long term plans, will you even feel like going out once you finish with your work day.

Am I just old and boring? How is it so damn hard for me to want to get out every now and then, interact with other people, and feel good about where my non-professional life is at right now? I come home from work and honestly just feel exhausted. I listen to the problems of everyone I interact with each day, I listen to everything my coworkers need to unload and just want to shut down and unwind all by myself - and sometimes with Chris.

I long for nights filled with good food, good friends and awesome entertainment. I don't even care if that entertainment is plain old conversation, board games, a dip in the pool. Whatever it is, I just want it to be good. I think the problem is that I find people to invest time in, energy, even finances... and then they turn out to be moldy sponges - absorbing all you have to offer while contaminating all the good things of your life. People here are not the same as back home. They are too focused on the next party, show, major event or simply just their personal lives. They lie to you when you reach out to them while acting chummy while they are need need of attention or the "hook up". Everything is the hook up. I need this, can you get me that, do you know so-and-so... yeah? you think you can score xxxx from them for me?

I am tired of the fake people in this town. I need to find those who are worth the time, are worth letting into my life and sharing all those special moments with. Chris and I need to get out more, without spending an arm and a leg - we honestly can't afford that - and finding new quality people to be with.

You never realize just how important awesome friends are until you notice just how few you really have.